


Combining Forces

by SasuNarufan13



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Deidara and Naruto are cousins, Fluff, Foul Language, Itachi and Deidara being Cupids, Itachi is some sort of yakuza but it's not overly important to the fic, Itachi's and Naruto's pov, M/M, Off screen torture for a bit, Slash, valentine's day fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29429850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SasuNarufan13/pseuds/SasuNarufan13
Summary: Deidara decides he has enough. He's going to enlist Itachi's help to set up his cousin with Sasuke, because if he has to listen to Naruto pining one more day, he's going to go insane!
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Deidara, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 34
Kudos: 250
Collections: Sasunaru fics to live for





	Combining Forces

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: Figured I'd try to combine two rather popular pairings. I worked until nearly two thirty in the morning to finish this on time, so I hope it isn't too awful! Don't expect anything too serious, though LOL
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns it.
> 
> I hope you'll like it and I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day!

**Combining Forces**

He was watching Kisame prowl around their soon to be ex-employee from the adjoining small room, noting with detached interest how the fear in the guy's eyes grew as he realised just how fucked he was, when the door slammed open and Deidara burst inside.

"I need to ask you something, un!"

"No, I'm not firing Kakuzu," Itachi droned; his arms crossed. "He may be difficult to work with, but he's still one of the best financial experts we've had so far."

"It'd be better for the morale, though," Deidara answered after a short pause.

That made the dark haired man snort softly. "What morale? You threatened to blow up Sasori just last week; Kakuzu threw Hidan out of the window, who fortunately landed on top of the open garbage bin and Konan threatened Nagato with bodily harm when he told her that her employees hadn't screwed up that badly."

"To be fair, Sasori was asking for it and we've all wanted to push Hidan out of a window at least once since we started working here, un," Deidara remarked. "I won't say anything about Konan, because she scares me, un. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to ask."

"What do you want to ask then?"

The future ex-employee had started to cry by now as Kisame drew a jagged knife across his cheek. Really, if he was that easy to break, why had he tried to leak sensitive information to their rivals in the first place? He had to have known they wouldn't go easy on him.

"You know my cousin, Naruto?"

Itachi smiled wryly. "Yes, I do seem to recall someone with that name. I find him quite frequently at my parents' house when I visit them. Seeing as he's my brother's _best friend_."

Deidara waved his hand haphazardly, wandering over to him. "Whatever, look, I'm normally the type to keep out of someone's business - "

"Really? Odd, that's not the impression I have," Itachi mused thoughtfully, but the blond man ignored him serenely.

"But it's getting to the point that I feel second-hand embarrassment from just listening to him and I have my limits, un," Deidara stated.

"What are you talking about?" Itachi frowned, pulling his attention away from the one way mirror.

"Naruto has this ridiculously huge crush on your little brother," Deidara stated frankly. "And with ridiculously huge, I mean, he keeps a picture of your brother on his nightstand and I've heard him wishing it a goodnight several times already. It's embarrassing, un."

"That's not a question," Itachi pointed out, though the information didn't particularly faze him. The younger blond wasn't exactly as subtle as he thought he was.

"Fine, me being the great cousin that I am – and because I will go insane if I hear him wax poetry about your little brother one more time – I want to set him up on a date, un," Deidara explained, crossing his hands behind his head. "But because I'm not cruel, I need to know at first whether he actually has a shot with your brother. No sense in ruining their friendship if it turns out your brother doesn't feel the same."

"That's actually quite thoughtful of you," Itachi told him.

Deidara looked offended. "Don't sound so surprised about that, un, I'm a very thoughtful person. So, you know if he feels anything for my cousin?"

"Well, while I don't claim to be able to read his thoughts, Naruto-kun is the only one he allows to get close to him and with close, I mean, I've caught them cuddling on the couch more than once," Itachi answered calmly. "Sasuke is not someone who tends to be as touchy-feely as Naruto-kun is - "

"That's called being affectionate, un, but you Uchiha have a stick so far up your arse, it surprises me every time you manage to still bow," Deidara cut in.

This time it was Itachi who ignored _him_. "So the fact that he allows Naruto-kun to get that close means something."

"Well, I can work with that," Deidara said cheerfully and rubbed his hands together. "So I came up with this plan and I need your help with it."

"Why do you need my help?" Itachi's attention was briefly pulled back towards the other room when the guy let out a piercing shriek, loud enough to bypass the thick walls.

He couldn't immediately discern what had happened to make him shriek as he didn't appear to visibly bleed, but then Kisame rose up and stepped back from the table, revealing the jagged knife covered in blood. Ah, he must have stabbed him in the thigh then.

"Man, Kisame-san's taking his sweet time, huh?" Deidara asked in wonder, before shaking his head. "Because I need your help in getting Sasuke-kun to the agreed upon place, of course. How else are we going to set them up?"

" _We_? You're the one who came up with the idea," Itachi pointed out.

"Don't you want your little brother to find happiness and love in his life?" Deidara smirked; his blue eyes gleaming.

Itachi sighed, but didn't answer, because yes, he wanted his little brother to be happy, but to go as far as set him up on a date with his best friend? Wasn't that going a bit too far?

"What do you have in mind?" he gave in reluctantly.

Deidara grinned widely and grasped his shoulder firmly; the heat of his hand seeping straight through Itachi's suit. "We're going to make this a Valentine's Day they're never going to forget, un."

Amidst the screams of agony of their ex-employee, Deidara explained gleefully how they would give Sasuke and Naruto the final push.

* * *

"And why again am I forced to help you move these boxes?" Sasuke grumbled, dragging his feet behind Itachi. "Don't you have employees for this kind of stuff?"

"Well, I figured I would ask the help of someone who owes me for keeping quiet about the fact that his best friend regularly sneaks inside through the window," Itachi said dryly and he didn't even need to turn around to know that Sasuke was glaring at him. "But if you insist, I can definitely ask an employee to help me, but you might be confronted by mother then who will surely have something to say about these nightly visits."

"You're a bastard, nii-san," Sasuke said sourly.

"Hm, whatever you say. The boxes are in this room." Itachi opened the door, waving Sasuke inside.

The younger man did so, scowling still, walking deeper into the room. "Itachi, I can't see shit here, where's the light switch?"

"Give me a sec while I turn on the light," Itachi murmured and on cue, the door on the other end of the room opened, casting a beam of light inside.

"So, where are those boxes you want help with, Deidara-kun? Damn, it's dark in here," Naruto complained.

Sasuke reacted surprised, "What the hell are you doing here, usuratonkachi?"

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"

Itachi took just enough time to switch on the light before he abruptly closed the door and locked it; Deidara doing the same on the other side.

The reaction was instantaneous. "WHAT THE FUCK, ITACHI? OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!" Sasuke yelled, ramming what sounded like his shoulder into the door.

"Don't damage the door, otouto, I will not be the one paying to get it fixed," Itachi said calmly.

"REALLY FUNNY, DEIDARA!" Naruto could be heard yelling on the other side. "YOU HAD YOUR FUN, NOW OPEN THE DOOR!"

Itachi couldn't hear what exactly Deidara said in reply, but he did hear Naruto's answer loud and clearly. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, UNTIL WE PULL OUR HEADS OUT OF OUR ARSES? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Perhaps taking a look inside the room might clarify some things," Itachi remarked and walked away before either one could retort.

He wondered whether Deidara's plan would be successful and if so, how long it would take them to admit their feelings for each other. He guessed he was about to find out.

* * *

"There's food here," Naruto observed when he turned around.

He'd heard Deidara stalk away, so there was no point in screaming his throat raw. While Sasuke still refused to give up, having resorted to calling his brother all foul names underneath the sun – some even in other languages, which was quite impressive, Naruto wasn't going to lie – Naruto inspected the room further, a feeling of dread welling up as he took in how it exactly looked like.

There was no denying that this was normally a meeting room, but the desk chairs had made way for two regular looking ones – albeit with some comfortable looking cushioning – and the table was filled with several dishes, which contained delicious looking food, and some bottles with soda and water.

While the table itself already looked suspicious, all the food was made just so that they wouldn't have any need for utensils and as dessert there were strawberries dipped in chocolate. As if all that wasn't already enough, there were two candles lit right in the middle of the table and there was a definite scent of roses permeating the air – not exactly a scent one associated with an office.

"Deidara, I'm going to kill you," Naruto whispered through gritted teeth and balled his hands into fists.

That goddamn arsehole just couldn't keep his nose out of Naruto's business, huh? He just had to go and mess with his friendship with Sasuke, even though he had sworn to keep quiet about this. Well, that definitely showed he couldn't trust his cousin.

"That bastard just up and left!" Sasuke hissed, smacking the door with his open palm. He whirled around, his eyes flashing dangerously when he took in the table with the food. "What the hell is their deal?"

"I have no idea," Naruto replied, but his mouth was dry and his nails were digging in the sensitive flesh of his palm.

Fucking Deidara and his need to shove his nose into places where it didn't belong! Had he asked for any help? No, he hadn't! What the hell had he been thinking, luring both him and Sasuke to the company and locking them up here? And why the hell had Itachi agreed to this insane plan? Because this crazy idea had to come from Deidara, there was no way Itachi would come up with something as stupid as this.

"That cousin of yours didn't say anything?" Dark eyes narrowed.

"No, he just told me he needed help with moving around some boxes. Offered to buy me ramen if I helped him out," Naruto answered and barely managed to supress the bitterness in his voice.

Yeah, he definitely wouldn't trust his cousin anymore after the shit he'd just pulled.

"How convenient that it's the same excuse Itachi used," Sasuke muttered and then rolled his eyes. "Figures you'd do anything for some damn ramen."

"Hey, you're here too, you know!" Naruto bristled and pointed accusingly at him. "So what's your excuse that you ended up here?"

His best friend clenched his jaw. "Itachi threatened to sell me out to mother about the fact that you sneak into my room at night sometimes."

"Ah." Naruto pulled a face and rubbed the back of his neck. "Shit, thought I was quiet enough."

It wasn't as if he climbed through Sasuke's window every night, but sometimes when his parents both had the night shift, the silence was too stifling and he needed some company to combat it. Sasuke had become used to it by now, leaving the window ajar for Naruto to climb through. In the early morning, when the first birds started chirping, Naruto would creep back into his own house, before his parents would notice he was gone.

He'd thought he'd been pretty stealthy about it, because Mikoto hadn't mentioned it even once.

"He saw you climbing inside a couple of times when he was on his way back home," Sasuke explained, pursing his lips.

"Who the fuck returns home so late anyway?" Naruto complained, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

Next to the beautifully decorated table, he felt ridiculously inadequate, with his jeans torn around the knees, his scuffed sneakers and his baggy, dark purple hoodie that he'd borrowed once from Sasuke and had yet to return.

"The freak that calls himself my brother," Sasuke said darkly and approached the table warily as if he expected the food to come alive any second now and attack him.

Which, considering there were some oysters resting on ice – and he really needed to talk to Deidara after this shit was over, because _oysters_ , seriously? – wasn't in theory that far from the truth.

"What's up with this display?" Sasuke sneered, turning a plate with some mini sandwiches around. "What's their game here?"

"I don't know," Naruto said, shrugging half-heartedly, questioning how long they would be locked up in here before the older men took pity on them.

He hoped it wouldn't be that long because he really wasn't in the mood to answer any potential awkward questions, especially if those awkward questions could lead to their friendship being irrevocably damaged.

He'd fucking kill Deidara if that happened.

"This looks like some kind of romantic dinner," Sasuke muttered suspiciously, his eyes switching from one plate to the other, before resting on the strawberries. His face turned unreadable then. "Isn't it Valentine's Day today?"

"Is it?" Naruto asked, his voice unintentionally a couple of octaves higher. He cleared his throat and offered a fake smile. "Wouldn't know, you know I'm shit with remembering dates."

"Hm." Sasuke's eyes narrowed further, following him as he pulled the chair back and slumped down on it.

"So, any idea how we're going to get out of here?" Naruto asked, keeping his gaze fixated on the plate containing some devil's eggs.

"If you've got a lighter in your pocket, we can set the room on fire," Sasuke suggested idly, paying no mind to the disturbed look he received in return. "That'll get them to open the door quickly, I bet."

"Even assuming that I have a lighter – which I don't, by the way – I don't fancy killing myself over a locked door," Naruto retorted snidely and crossed his arms.

"Well, then I guess we're stuck until they get bored," Sasuke said, glowering, and sat down as well with a huff. "Guess we can at least enjoy the food, seeing as they paid for it."

"Guess so," Naruto mumbled, though he wasn't feeling particularly hungry.

A vibration in his pocket startled him and when he whipped his phone out, he scowled when he saw Deidara had messaged him.

**11.54 a.m. Deidara**

**I didn't lock you two up for nothing to happen! You won't get a better opening than this so use it! :D**

**11.54 a.m. Me**

**I don't remember asking you to meddle! Do you have any idea what you've done?! Just open the fucking door!**

**11.55 a.m. Deidara**

**Not before you finally confess! I'm not going to listen to you pining after him anymore, this shit is getting embarrassing, stop it!**

**11.56 a.m. Me**

**No you fucking stop it! You're ruining my friendship here, you fucking dick!**

**11.57 a.m. Deidara**

**Hey, there's a thought: if you were jumping on his dick, you wouldn't be in this place now!**

**11.57 a.m. Me**

**Get fucked, douchebag**

"Who are you texting?" Sasuke frowned, sipping from his glass of water.

"A douchebag who I don't consider family anymore." Naruto glared at his phone before dumping it on the table. "He won't open the door."

"Yeah, figured as much," Sasuke sighed. "We can only hope they'll get bored eventually."

Given the infinite amount of patience Uchiha seemed to possess – Naruto would know, being best friends with one – that seemed unlikely to happen. They would have to hope that Deidara would grow bored of it, but given how that guy had a one track mind once he made it up, that seemed equally as unlikely to happen.

They started eating, because it was lunch time anyway and there was no point in letting the food go to waste. All the while, Naruto tried to ignore the very obvious romantic vibes that the setting was giving off even with Sasuke looked both uninterested and annoyed across from him.

God damn Deidara and his fucking idea. If things between him and Sasuke turned awkward after this stunt, he would never forgive his cousin. So what, if he had been secretly pining for his best friend? He knew he didn't have a shot and he didn't want to ruin what they had, so he'd been perfectly okay with just nursing his crush in secret, certain that eventually it would disappear.

Two years after that initially comforting thought, that idea seemed completely shot to hell as he still was completely head over heels for the dark haired man. One would think two years would be more than long enough to get rid of those pesky feelings, but of course not, because it couldn't just be that simple.

And now here he was, stuck in one room with Sasuke, in what would be quite the romantic setting if he actually thought he had a shot with the guy. He couldn't even call his parents, because they were both on shift today and wouldn't be able to check their phones for hours.

As he sat there, lamenting and cursing whatever had made Deidara his cousin, the man in question kept firing off texts, which contained the same message over and over again.

**12.26 p.m. Deidara**

**Tell him what you feel for him**

**12.30 p.m. Deidara**

**Tell him what you feel for him**

**12.32 p.m. Deidara**

**Tell him what you feel for him. I can keep this up the whole day if I have to**

**12.34 p.m. Deidara**

**Fine, your choice. Tell him what you feel for him**

"Who the hell is texting you the entire time?" Sasuke demanded annoyed.

"Just Deidara, ignore him," Naruto huffed, stuffing a devil's egg in his mouth.

His phone buzzed again and he was intent on ignoring it _again_ , when Sasuke suddenly leant forwards and _swiped the phone right off the table._

Stomach plummeting, the food in his mouth turning to ash, Naruto lurched forwards, panicking, and made a desperate attempt at taking his phone back before it was too late. No dice.

"No, wait, Sasuke!"

"Tell him what you feel for him," Sasuke read flatly, staring uncomfortably long at the screen before his eyes finally flicked up and locked onto terrified blue ones. "What does he mean with that?"

Naruto laughed nervously, trying to swipe his phone back and failing miserably once more. "Nothing, he's just being a dick, you know, the usual," he tried to deflect, but it was no use.

"Yeah? Odd that he chooses today of all days to be a dick then. Odd that he and Itachi went through the trouble of locking us up in this room together with a romantic lunch," Sasuke droned and unexpectedly threw the phone back.

Naruto fumbled a bit when he caught it but he managed to keep it in his hands. "Well, they've always been weird," he mumbled, but his cheeks were turning red, he knew, he could feel them growing ridiculously hot and there was the stupid hot sting of tears pressing against the back of his eyes, threatening to make this even more embarrassing than it already was.

"Maybe, but they've never been this weird," Sasuke said, his voice oddly quiet. "What do you need to tell me, Naruto?"

"Nothing, it's – it's nothing, I swear," Naruto said hastily, discreetly wiping his eyes.

The deep sigh from across the table had him flinching and biting down hard on his lower lip, praying he would be able to keep it together until the doors finally unlocked. Then he could go home and bury himself in his bed and forget this bullshit had ever happened.

"Here."

Something poked his arm and when Naruto turned his head, he nearly fell off his chair at finding Sasuke so close to him all of a sudden. The dark haired man stood right next to him, holding out his own phone with unreadable eyes.

"Read," he simply said, still holding out the device.

Frowning, Naruto did as he was told.

**12.59 p.m. Prince of Douchebags**

**Otouto, this is becoming tedious. Just tell him how you feel so that Deidara will stop bugging me about this.**

His heartbeat thudded loudly in his ears when Naruto looked up slowly, his mouth opening, but no sound leaving it.

Sasuke smiled wryly, placing his phone on the table. "Guess they're both being dicks, huh?"

"Yeah," Naruto licked his lips, "guess so. So …"

"So." Sasuke, the absolute bastard that he was, raised an eyebrow.

"So …" Slowly Naruto rose up and reached out with his hands cautiously, his fingers closing around the corners of Sasuke's unzipped jacket.

"So …" Sasuke's voice deepened, his eyes turning half lidded as he watched the blond taking a tentative step closer.

"Guess today's Valentine's Day."

"Guess so."

"And well," Naruto fumbled, fingers tightening around the fabric, the edges of the zipper pressing against his hands, "I was wondering if – if – if we could, you know, kiss? Be more than – than friends? Things like that?" His voice gained an embarrassingly high pitch near the end and he flushed even brighter, especially when Sasuke smirked and cupped his left cheek.

"I think that can be arranged, yeah," he murmured and Naruto wanted to stomp on his foot because he was ridiculously smug looking for someone who hadn't wanted to confess first, but then their lips touched in a soft, tentative first kiss, and he melted into it, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's neck and forgetting why he'd been annoyed with him in the first place.

It wasn't anything important, anyway, his annoyance that was, because Sasuke was kissing him back, returning the embrace, and that was the most important thing.

He was still going to make Deidara's life a hell for the next couple of months, though. Just to make it clear that he didn't appreciate stupid stunts like this one.

Even if this stupid stunt had a better outcome that he could have ever hoped for.

* * *

"Yes, finally!" Deidara threw his arms in the air. "Holy shit, I thought they would never find their balls!"

"Well, they obviously did," Itachi snorted, throwing one last look at the surveillance camera before he turned it off, prompting an immediate protest from the blond next to him.

"Hey, what did you do that for, un?"

"I did that, because you and I have plans for today," Itachi announced, pulling on his coat and patting the pockets. Yes, everything was still present. He only needed to unlock the door of the conference room and then they could leave.

"Oh, we do, do we?" Blue eyes glistening mischievously even as Deidara hurried to get up and pull on his jacket too. "And what's the occasion?"

Itachi smirked and drew him in for a kiss, making the younger man moan and cling to his shoulders. "Valentine's Day, of course."

Now that his little brother had got his happily ever after, it was time to build further on his own happy ending again.

Starting with a private dinner of their own, followed by an equally as private firework show.

And after that, well … He was certain they would enjoy what the rest of the day would bring after that. They would enjoy it together, after all.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> AN2: I had a lot of fun writing the text exchange between Deidara and Naruto, just so you know.
> 
> I hope it wasn't too bad! Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
> 
> I hope to see you all back in my future stories! Please stay safe and take care of yourselves!
> 
> Cuddles
> 
> Melissa


End file.
